Classic Series - El Valle Hike

Some of you know that before this blog, I had another blog site that I used to keep track of my crazy stories of life in Panama. That blog was part of the PortoDiao.com group, who I still have the highest respect for; however as I am no longer residing in Panama, I've moved onto the independent wagon of blogging. I kept most of my postings in this old space so decided that it is time to bring back the classics for your reading pleasure. Over the next few days, I will be bringing back what I think are the best of my past posts beginning with this one:

Story 1. - The Hike I will never forget (dated sometime in 2006):

Last night I was driving back from Casco Viejo (an awesome part of the city for night life) with some friends when we were stopped at a traffic light and I saw a truck that had a bunch of guys hanging off the back of it. Suddenly I was reminded of this hiking trip that I had taken with some friends a while back and I was in tears from laughing so hard in the back of this car. This image of the people hanging off this truck reminded me of such a minuscule part of that hiking story but it was still great. The story goes like this:

One day my roommate and her boyfriend, when they were just hooking up, send me an email with information about a weekend hike that this tourism company was offering for $40. The add said we would be hiking for 4 hrs the first day and then 5 hrs the next before catching the bus back to the city. This $40 included transportation to and from the city (a few hours bus ride), a guided tour and a meal on the afternoon of day two. I love the outdoors and hiking, it was in a part of the country that I knew from experience was absolutely beautiful, the advertisement seemed like this company knew what they were doing and the price was right so 4 of us packed our tents and bug spray and hopped aboard the bus early that morning.

A few hours later we stopped for a rest and a bathroom break and then continue on our way to this beautiful area. Once we arrive there we are told that someone was supposed to meet us at this rest stop and that someone was supposed to be our tour guide…but he never showed. So another guy who was with us from that company did the noble thing and stepped in to take his place cause he was “experienced” with the hike. So far no complaints. Was I naive in trusting him when he said he knew what he was doing? Some people may say yes but I dont think so. In fact after a few minutes of walking I learned from a few others who were walking with me that they had done the same hike with the same guy as the group leader before. This was good. This told me that they not only survived but they must have enjoyed it if they were coming back for seconds.

As the hike goes into it’s 4th hour and the sun is starting to set I found myself starting to have second thoughts about this hike and especially about this dude. There was about 16 of us who were hiking with him if I recall correctly and we were all of different sizes, shapes and ages. In fact there were some people on this hike who were older and possibly h ad heart conditions. I noticed right off the bat that we were lied to when we were told it was an easy hike. The terrain was TOUGH. With the intense heat and constant inclination as we made our way up one of the slippery mountain (and I mean UP folks…we’re talking like 90degrees up on all fours with the giant bags on our backs), it was no surprise that some people were falling behind and needing breaks more often than this tour guide who was in great shape and used to the hike. By the end of day one we weren’t actually settled in our tents until well after 9:30pm and we were all DEAD. We had a little picnic in the dark with flashlights where we feasted on tuna, block cheese and crackers. Let me mention here that we had been hiking for over 7 hours by now and so being as seven is more than the 4 we were told about, our water and food supplies were already dwindling.

Day two started bright and early as we were up with the sun packing up our things and back on the trails again before 8am. Our legs had a few hours to rest and so were feeling like jello. It wasnt until about an hour after I started hiking again that I felt my legs were completely there, and this was only because the physical pain, sweat and burn were the constant reminders. After 5hrs that we were well out of water and food supplies that we bought with us (remember, we were planning for a 5hr hike the second day) and yet we had barely hit the halfway mark. Why? I don't know. Maybe the people who set this up thought they would be taking a bunch of superheros with them on this hike. We were traveling fast and tough and given the crazy heat and sun I was thoroughly impressed that nobody passed out from exhaustion or dehydration. I was on the verge of dehydration. What saved me? Drinking water from a river we stopped at. That’s right folks. I’m hiking through the mountains of a third world country where the locals travel by foot or horse only, horseshit everywhere along the paths….and I decide to drink the water. Was I looking for disease? No…I was looking to survive. Was I happy about having to resort to that…..NO.

The cream of the cake though was (and this proves how fast we were hiking through this mountain) when we LOST three people who were lagging behind. Our group was so spread out and people were lagging so far behind that we didn’t realize that we lost them until over an hour after it happened. I remember that anger towards this man who was leading us began to form at this point. He was in the front of the group and so when he would stop and rest, it would leave just enough time for the others to catch up. By then he had been resting for about 20mins and so got up and started again….but these people who had just caught up had to either skip the rest or risk losing him again. What kind of a tour guide doesn't wait for his group? My favorite was when he realized that the group was lost. We remembered exactly where and when it happened. There was a fork in a path about an hour back and he didn’t bother waiting to tell people what way to go. In fact I specifically remember my roommate and I saw which way he went and then waited for the people behind us to catch up so we could tell them what way to go and so then they would wait for the next people and so on and so forth. Good system? Sure…unless you are at the back and you think you are the last person in line when you are in fact not….which is what happened. So naturally these three people who were lagging behind took the wrong way and we saw the bright colors of their shirts about 2 mountain tops away over an hour later….shit.

So how do you react when you are a tour guide and you realize that you have lost three people you were responsible for? Well, you don't start screaming and throwing a hissy fit and blaming it all on them and try to get the group to carry on without them…that’s for sure. But that is exactly what he did. Amazing. He only finally agreed to try to go back for them when another dude in the group volunteered….guess he couldn't look bad so after the obligation ate at him for a while, he went back. Although I was grateful for the break we got from having to wait for him to come back from finding these people, I was suddenly unsure of things. Besides the fact that the hike was taking hours longer than we were told it would, and besides having to drink the river water that had god knows what type of bacteria floating in it and besides being out of food, tired and sweating so badly I couldn't stand my own smell, it was a fun hike (with the exception of the whining that was coming from known parties - you know who you are)…until that moment where i saw how our “guide” reacted in a crisis. I was unimpressed at that moment.

ANYWAY, to make a longer rest of the story shorter, we all made it home in one piece….barely and at midnightish. After a few doctors appointments we are all happy and healthy and sit back and laugh about the experience now. We wound up going on without those lost individuals and somewhere along the line while waiting at our rendez-vous spot, some native locals brought them to us on horses. Talk about lucky.

Some other quick highlights of that camping trip:

- When this native woman came up to us (god bless her) with a bushel of bananas…i guess she saw how badly we wanted and needed them and let me tell you…I think that was the best banana I had ever eaten in my life.

- When we were picked up and thrown in the back of a truck to the finish line which had a river for us to swim at and cool off and get that “meal” (which turned out to be nothing). Haleluhia I say hahaha.

- When we got to the swimming hole and honey brown found a tick stuck on her leg.

- When Angie and myself kept falling in the mudd.

and my favorite:

- When one of the old ladies who got lost caught up with us and helped me tell off the tour guide. We sent him to hell and refused to talk to him again the entire way home.

Awe the joy….the list can go on and on. In the end, i would definitely hike again like that. The scenery was too beautiful to pass up. All I would do differently the next time around is make sure I get a bit more information about the company hosting the hike, the guide’s abilities and I would definitely pack a little more carefully. This was my fault though…I should have known after "the Darrien experience" that to Panamanians, a 4 hour hike is really a 9 hour one. I take full responsibility for not acknowledging that in advance.

You win some you lose some though right?


Next posting: "The Darrien Experience" - Priceless story that will explain the comment I made at the end of this posting.... stay tuned!